Confessions of a Happy Single

As I put on my PJs I looked at myself and sighed then shrugged, I was warm, who cares how I look?.  This is one of the many advantages of being single, and no I am not bashing couplehood, it is just that you don't often remember that there are distinct advantages to being single, just like there are to being part of a couple.

The reason I sighed is that I am wearing something that no other human being will ever see me in.  Even if I was in a relationship with the most loving and understanding man ever, who accepted me unconditionally, I would never, ever, ever wear what I am wearing in his presence.  I would be wearing something less comfortable, and not nearly as warm because what I am wearing is a nice, warm, fluffy, comfortable pink Hello Kitty PJ with attached feet.  It was the only one in my size of this design, and even single nothing would induce me to wear a similar one in darker colors with little bunnies or racoons on the feet.

I wonder, am I the only single that owns and wears clothing that they would never wear in the presence of another living being?  Singles do you have a confession to make about a garment in your wardrobe that you would rather die, than be seen wearing?

I just have to hope that I don't die in my sleep while wearing this thing...

What Exactly is Radical Islam?

If you came to this post looking for a description of Radical Islam, I apologize because that is not the purpose of this post.   The purpose of this post is to wonder why the Media, Terrorism experts, law enforcement and politicians love to use that term.  I would be less puzzled if they used similar terms when talking about other wackos like the members of the Westboro baptist church.  Yet I never hear them being referred to as radicalized Christians.

I have not heard that term used for the Norway attacker, nor for Timothy McVeigh.  In neither case was their religion brought into question, nor was there any determination to go into churches and see if anything there was radicalizing them. 

For example according to this article (http://www.ethicsdaily.com/news.php?viewStory=15532).

"There is no doubt that Timothy McVeigh was deeply influenced by the Christian Identity movement. Christian Identity is a profoundly racist and theocratic form of faith that developed in the late 1970s and spread like wildfire through rural communities throughout the U.S. in the 1980s."

So why is the religious angle important ONLY when the suspects/perps are from Islam or from another non Christian religion?  

What exactly is so different about an Islamist radical, a Hindu radical, a Christian radical or for that matter a secular one?  It really does not matter where they got their beliefs from what matters is what they did with them.

If you think about it the Boston attacks killed fewer people (although the injuries were greater in number) than the Newtown shootings, the Aurora shootings, or even the 2011 Tucson killings, these were all white males and none of them were Muslim.  

I think that we should lump all these people under the same term, either you call them all terrorists, or you call them all extremists, or fanatics.  But to single out a religion in one situation, but not in all of them, to me seems rather bigoted.

If anything the Boston attacks show exactly why racial profiling makes no sense, these criminals can be anyone, and can look like anyone. 

Walking with the Dinosaurs

There are days when you move off the beaten track, sometimes the result is amazing, sometimes horrible and other times you hardly notice the difference.  Today was one of those days for me.

I had figured that today would be a lost day, I had to take my car in for what I thought were repairs that would take some time and would be expensive, as I could not get an appointment earlier than noon I figured my day was shot.  So I admit that when I set off towards some fast food restaurants to get food after I dropped off my car I was not in the best of moods.

As I was walking a well dressed, elderly gentleman stopped me.  I could tell from his face that at some point in his life he had suffered a sever and disfiguring injury which appeared to have left him partially blind and made it hard for him to talk.  He asked me were a particular street was I told him I did not know, which was true.  He then asked me if I had 50 cents to spare for a bus token, I told him I did not have any which was not true.

I did not get far before guilt set in, what was 50 cents after all, I looked back and noticed that he was walking slowly with a limp and leaning heavily on a walking stick.  It did not take much time for me to catch up with him and press a dollar into his hand.  He seemed genuinely grateful and thanked me.

I kept walking towards an intersection, when I got to it I noticed a police car stopped waiting for the light to turn, the light had just turned green for him, yet he reversed a little and waved me past (there was nobody else in the intersection with him).  I was a little surprised but waved my thanks and crossed.  I now had to cross a wider road, but a similar thing happened, before the light turned for me, the only car in the intersection that had right of way over me, waved me across.

You have to understand, I live in Connecticut, the citizens of this state have many positive qualities, random acts of kindness (in my experience) are not unfortunately among them.  That this would happen twice in the span of a few minutes was rather surprising to me.  My surprise continued when as I finally reached my destination as I was heading towards the door a gentleman rushed to the door (not to go through it before me as was typical) but to open it asking "can I carry your bag for you?".  I was so surprised I nearly dropped said bag which contained my work computer.

Perhaps it was all a coincidence, very likely had I not given the person the money, perhaps all of this would have happened anyway.  Or perhaps all these people had seen that I had given the money and for that reason were more kindly disposed towards me.  I don't know and to be honest I don't care, it just felt nice.

I drove a couple of hours into Massachusetts to do some shopping at one of my favorite stores, on the way home I decided to go straight rather than take the turn off towards the highway.  I figured I would drive for a while and then turn around and go home.  It turns out that the road I was on actually ran alongside the highway heading south, the direction I was headed in but was a much more picturesque and pleasant drive.

On the way I passed a sign that said "Dinosaur Tracks", I had the time so I made a U-turn and went back to the area.  It was a tiny park near the river and close to the wall that supported the road was a flat rock surface on which were clearly visible several Dinosaur tracks.  It was one of those small mind blowing experiences where suddenly either the vastness of nature of the immenseness of time and the universe are right there for you to touch and feel.  As I looked down at the tracks made millions of years ago by something that had stood in the same place I was now standing I felt a sense of awe and timelessness.

Because these tracks were just there, out in the open as if they had been made a few months ago, and not behind glass, or in a museum somewhere, the feeling was much stronger and personal.  I was in essence 'walking with the dinosaurs'.

Sometimes moving off the beaten track has resulted in me getting lost, or being disappointed in what I found, or wasting time.  Today it was wonderful experience that reminded me of my more giving side, the kindness of others and the vastness of time.  Not bad for a day that I had written off as a 'lost' day :)

Anyhow, after that I kept on driving, ended up driving through a small town, finding a beautiful old warehouse that I took pictures of just before getting back on the highway much closer to home than I thought I would be.

The Perception of Racism

Most of us at some time or other will feel that others are viewing us differently, often negatively because of some visible factor such as race, gender, national origin, disability, looks, weight and dress (indicating class).  Sometimes it will be because they have found something out about is such as our sexual orientation, religion, or national origin. 

For some this feeling will come more often than it will for others, depending on what community they live in and in what way they are seen as different.   The more often the feeling and the more visible the difference the harder it is sometimes to know if someone is treating you differently because of that (your race, gender, class etc), or because of something else (they are having a bad day, they are unpleasant to everyone, they just don't like you or you did something to offend them).

I am currently living in New England and often find myself the only black female (often the only black person) in social situations.  What made me think about this today are three separate recent situations where I was either the only black person present or the only black female present and the interactions I had with the people that were present.

I will just tell the stories the way I saw them and leave you to decide for yourselves what to take from them if anything.  In the first situation I was taking a continuing education course, it lasted for three days.  I got to the first class early, although because I had registered for the class late, I was not on the roster for the first day, but the same was true of others in that class.  The people in the class were friendly and courteous. 

One thing I did notice with the instructor was that when he was discussing the photo's taken by the men in the class his comments were very positive even when he critiqued the pictures, but when it came to the women his comments were much more negative in general.  As this was directed to other women, I did not feel that they were racially motivated although the question about sexism does arise.

In the second situation I was taking a one time meditation course, I arrived a little late, but the class had not started, (after a few mins, as I was close to it and there was noise from another class, I closed the door and based on the reaction and the comments of the instructor I could tell that she would have wanted me to wait. 

My name was not on the registration and she told me to write down my phone number and address, I understand why, but she could have handled the situation with a little more discretion by saying for example "If your name is not on the list, please write your phone and address next to your name"

As the class went on it became clear that her interactions with me were much less positive than with the other women (I was the only black person in that class, the class and instructor were all female), it was so blatant that I did something uncharacteristic I challenged her about it.  She did not take to that too kindly either. 

It is hard to know if it was simply that I was late, closed the door and was not in the register for the class that led to the negative interactions, if for some reason she just did not like me, or if it was because I was black, or any combination of the above.

In the last situation I was taking a meditation class, I arrived early.  I could tell from the reaction of the two women, the one running the class and the one hosting it that they were probably not used to seeing black women in that class.  They were over friendly and over concerned about being nice (compared to the way the treated the other people in the class), this over solicitous behavior was later extended to the black man that came in with his white wife, though not to his wife.  She hugged him once or twice before he left and hugged me at least three times before I left.  She often stood close to me and made a point of remembering my name and asking me how I felt.  While this behavior tends to make me a little uncomfortable (I am an introvert), I don't really mind it, I know it is just a way to try and make sure they are being inclusive if there has not been much interaction with people who are not white. 

The only negative note to that situation was the store keeper who at one point asked me if I worked.  I am not over 60, I am not a teen, I clearly don't have small children and am not married, so I am not exactly sure why she would have asked if I worked, the assumption should have been that I did work.  Again, was that a racially driven question or not?

The truth is that even if some of those behaviors were motivated by racism and sexism, the people themselves would probably have been horrified if anyone suggested they were either racist or sexist.  These are clearly well educated liberals living in the north.  However, their lack of interaction with people of color might have had some effect on the way the behaved towards me. 

But then again, their behavior might have had nothing to do with racism at all, these could simply have been people having a bad day, or who either (for whatever reason), very much liked me or disliked me.  Unfortunately when you are a visible minority it is hard sometimes to know which is true.

The GOP should focus on winning elections rather than rigging them.

The GOP is spending quite a bit of money and time trying to figure out how to win the next election and many more after that.  Here are my thoughts on the matter, entirely for free :)

Discrimination is not a conservative value:
Women's rights, Gay rights, racial discrimination and other so called 'liberal' issues are not liberal issues, they are people's issues.  These are issues of people who could become potential GOP supporters.  Clearly some aspects of these issues are open for debate, however there are times when the discrimination is clear and in those cases it is not a liberal value to come out against it, it is actually what many would consider a strong conservative value..that of basic fairness.

The GOP does not have to change it's basic stance on these issues, often the arguments presented should be given consideration and are valid, however when the discrimination is clear the GOP should stand up and denounce it.  The GOP would then be viewed by many of those in minority groups as tough on these issues, but essentially fair.

The GOP could argue their points condemning the system that deals with discrimination, or the essential fairness of policies that aim to level the playing fields, rather than making it seem that the general stance of the GOP is that discrimination is acceptable because those on the receiving end are not 'real' American's anyway, and don't deserve to be treated any better.

The Government intervention is not always a bad thing:
The Government (of which many in the party are a part), is not inherently evil. The idea that government can have a place in the lives of many in the form of aid to the poor, the elderly, children and the infirm is not a liberal value.  Helping those in need is one thing that I have seen run very strong among many conservative and there are times when those who have fallen on hard times need some form of help just to get back on their feet.

Conservatives are very willing to give aid, but often they feel that those getting the aid should be worthy.  Nothing that wrong with that point of view, depending on where the 'worthiness' threshold is placed.  If you decided that an entire class or race of people are not 'worthy' of help, then it is possible you will be less favorable in voting for, or implementing policies that help them.

This duality is a double edged sword for the GOP, on one hand for example if you want to prevent pro immigration laws from being passed, all you have to do is convince your base that those immigrants are not deserving of help.  The problem with that kind of politics arises when for various reasons you now want to pass pro immigration laws.  You have now convinced your base that 'these' people don't deserve help and getting conservatives to change their minds once they have made them up, is not an easy thing has the GOP has recently found out.   It also becomes problematic to reach out to the communities that have been demonized and ask them to vote for you even if they might agree with you on many issues.

Conservatives are a diverse bunch:
When most Americans think of an American conservative the image of a white southerner tends to come in mind.  The truth is many minority and immigrant populations tend to be more conservative in general than the white population in general.  Many minority and immigrant groups are very religious even if the churches, synagogs, Mosques and other places of worship are different from those that white conservatives attend.   The social values of many of these groups align very nicely with that of the GOP rather than the Democratic party.

As people age they tend to get more conservative, when people are stressed or living in fear they tend to get more conservative and as people marry they tend to get more conservative.  This means that the GOP should be winning every election hands down as, if you think about it, America by first world standards, is a very conservative country.

Most Conservatives are not rich
Both parties are often at the mercy of very rich people and corporations, but the GOP seems to be more open about this than the Democrats are.  As is the case with diversity, the GOP does not need to become a second Democratic party, but at times, when it is clear that helping the rich at the blatant disadvantage of their constituents, the nation and the environment if the GOP came out and said that in this particular case they could not side with that the rich/corporation, they might lose a couple of supporters (not all that many, where are they going to go after all.. to the democrats?), but they would gain support amongst that... 47% that Mr. Romney thought it useless to even go after.

Again the GOP does not need to alter it's views, policies and values, all they need to do is be fair in some high profile cases even if the person/corporation is a GOP supporter and gives them lots of money.  Conservatives just like Democrats respond favorably to anything they see as being inherently fair.

The GOP can win the popular vote
The GOP knows it has a problem when it comes to the popular vote, they have lost it the last 4 elections and would have lost the house with this last election had so many of the districts not been Jerry-rigged.   My guess is as time goes on, as minority groups grow and prosper they will start moving into territory that was once considered conservative white America.  This will mean that at some point these Jerry-rigged districts might change in demographics and no longer be sure republican seats.

Jerry rigging also makes it hard for those people elected in them to compromise, modernize, or do something needed that their constituency might not agree with.  For example in a non Jerry-rigged, diverse community a republican representative will need to play to her base, but at the same time be aware that she can't alienate the rest of the people living there.  If she does not, as the demographics change,  and if she can appeal to the new demographics with her conservative views she can still win as she would have had to be somewhat of a centrist (this is true of Dems as well) to keep that seat.  If you have an ultra conservative Jerry-rigged district, then the representative will have to play only to that audience, and will have to be much more to the right of her non Jerry rigged neighbor.
She will be fine as long as the demographics of her district stay the same, but if they change she is in trouble.

The other problem with Jerry-rigging, is that with a less diverse constituency it becomes harder to do the 'right' but unpopular thing (like agreeing with President Obama on certain issues), as they will simply replace you the next election with a more conservative representative that won't compromise.

Winning at all costs is not always a good idea
As I watched the first for years of the Obama administration I got the distinct impression that one of the calculated strategies of the GOP was to wreck the economy in order to win the election.  It seemed like they figured that if the economy was weak, it would be easy to get him out of office, that turned out not to be the case and what we have as a result is the same president in a country that should be in a healthy recovery is not, and the GOP share the blame for this situation.

Personally I think the GOP would have done better in the elections, especially with minorities, single women and the younger generations,  if they had focused their energy in getting the economy back on track, not in the least because they would have had less time to alienate whole swaths of American society.  If they had done that they might have come up with some of their own counter-policies to President Obama's that might actually have been logical and sustainable.  They could have taken credit for better conditions in their own constituencies and for helping the economy get back on track.

Laws that aim to prevent groups that have historically fought for the right to vote tends to have the effect of mobilizing those voting groups in higher numbers.  Fighting for the right to bear arms tends to line the pockets of the NRA, the gun industry and thus eventually the coffers of the GOP, however it does not drive people to the polls quite as efficiently as trying to prevent them from exercising their right to vote.  And while those in the constituencies that vote republican might not see their party trying to prevent people from voting, the people against whom those policies are directed know with 100% certainty what is happening.

Compromise is not a bad word
There was a time when people were upset that there did not seem to be that much difference between the parties.  There were conservative democrats, liberal republicans and quite a bit of cross party talking and deal making between the parties.  Once the elections were over, for the most part the parties got down to the business of governing.  The other side was not 'Satan' or 'racist', they were simply 'wrong'.  This is not just a GOP problem but the GOP have raised the ante this election season and at this point, with 'Satan' still president, the GOP have to figure out how to work with him without alienating their ever dwindling base.

The Myth of Multiple Americas

How many Americas are there?  In a news program about food insecurity, the expert noted that there are two Americas, one which is food secure and one which is not.  He then went on to contradict himself by noting that food insecure individuals are in every community and could be your friend, neighbor or someone that works with you.  It was interesting that he did not add that 'you' could be food insecure.  He went on to note that 1 in 7  is food insecure, stating that if you are on a bus 1 in 7 of the people around you might not know where that next meal is coming from. He makes it clear which America he is talking to, and if you happen to be in the other America, it was clear that you were not part of the conversation, the conversation was about you.

 It was fascinating because in the same conversation he spoke about need to stop seeing the problem as about 'us' and 'them', especially when it comes to school meals.  He noted that one of the problems with those meals is that they are viewed as charity as 'us' being generous to 'them', with the mentality that because it is charity the kids should be content with just being fed and that it is viewed as something that can be 'cut' as it is in essence a hand out.  He argued that we should see this as feeding 'our' kids, even though those kids are poor, often brown they are still American.  Yet in this conversation he is talking to 'us'  about them and not to 'US' about 'US'.  Would it not be more productive to think about one America with different levels of food security?  Where everyone is responsible for the problem and everyone is responsible for the solution?

I found something similar in a recent blog by someone who lives in Sandy Hook, CT where a tragic school shooting took place recently.  I have to admit I had two completely conflicting thoughts going through my mind when I read the blog.  One which empathized completely with her desire for privacy, and the other that was bothered by her use of 'our' school, 'our' tragedy and others wanting to share in 'our' pain.

I live about 30 min from Sandy Hook.  After the shooting I wanted to go there pay my respects and to stand for a few mins outside the school contemplating what happened there.  I do this whenever possible if I am close to a memorial or site of a major tragedy.   I waited a week and then made my way down there, I got off at the exit and stopped just outside the town, there was still lots of traffic in and out of the town.  I sat for a moment trying to decide what to do. I did not want to add to the loss of privacy and the congestion in Sandy Hook, and I also was not sure that I would be welcome there.  While it might be hard to know for sure if some of the other people visiting were outsiders, being black and having lived 4 years in Ct, I knew that they would know instantly that I was from out of town.

After a few mins, I started my car and drove back home.  I will visit the school (or what is left of it if they demolish it) one day to pay my respects and to contemplate the horror that happened there, and that happens all to often in 'other'  areas of America (you know, that other, 'other' America, the one filled with poor and brown people).  I have to wonder if this had happened in a poor black, Hispanic, Arab or Asian community, if people from the outside would have felt the same compulsion to visit.  Is it better or worse for the communities when these things happen for people to care, or for them not to care?

 I have never really looked at it going to these places as sharing in 'their' pain, I don't think I really have the right to that. I can never know what it is like to lose that particular person, or what those people went through.  What I contemplate is that had I made different choices in my life, had I been born in a different country, or to different people, it could have been me, or my family that was involved in this horror (and not just on the victim side).

I don't have to have kids to try and wonder  about the bittersweet feeling of being thankful that your kid survived, while her best friend, a six year old, died from multiple gunshots, or the pain of hearing that your beautiful little boy, was killed, or of being relieved that your 9 year old made it home, just to find out that your 6 year old did not.  So I found the statements of many parents in the media that "as a parent I can understand what they are going through.." another way of dividing Americans into different groups, in that case it was a group I did not feel part of, almost as though as a non parent I did not have the right or the ability to grieve for those who had lost the little ones they loved.  Were not the grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends of those kids feeling pain and loss?

Why is it that those same 'parents' did not seem to feel the same empathy when the children lost were in the inner cities? Was it because they were not part of the same America?  It is true that how you experience life in America can be very different depending on where you were born, who you were born to and what gender, race, ethnicity and religion you belong to.  It will be different if you have lots of money, it will be different if you are homeless, if you live in the suburbs, the intercity, major metropolitan areas (not inner-city), or rural areas.

How you experience life in America will be different depending on age, if you have a job, if you are religious, married, what your sexual orientation if, what your gender is, if you are extroverted, if you have kids, if you work and so on.  But that does not mean that each of those things is a different America.  It is one America with many different types of people.  It is one America where things like the economy, crime, health care, education and civil rights affect all of us.  I fear that until we see this country as one America again, that these divisions that are stalling our economic welfare, will continue as the efforts to separate America into imaginary groupings will only make us weaker as much as we would like to deny it, if some of us fail, we all fail as a country. 

Thank you protesters for making my world just a little bit freer

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The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth

I saw an article about the sister of a comedian I am familiar with.  Her sister was recently arrested as she protested sexual inequality in Israel.  It really does not matter who the comedian or her sister are, nor exactly what she was protesting.  What matters is that a simple google search showed me hundreds and thousands just like her all over the world, from all walks of life, all ages, body types, religions, races, and national origins. As I looked at all the pictures something about the way I saw them changed.

When I first saw a picture of the two sisters, I thought to myself how pretty one was compared to the other.  Initially I saw the younger, thinner, longhaired sister as prettier, but then I saw a photo of the older sister during the protest and I paused for a while to look at her.  As I looked at her noticed something stunning about her, something that transformed her, and made her so much more beautiful, the same thing was true of the other women in the photos. 

I noticed that she had a sense of purpose, a sense of being part of something much larger than herself, it was almost like an aura, it just radiated from her.  To be honest for the first time in my life I envied something another woman had.  As I looked at picture after picture of women protesting I saw that same raw beauty in all of them.  It really did not matter what they actually looked like physically, it was irrelevant, regardless of if they were protesting in the nude, or covered head to foot, with only their eyes showing.

It is a beauty we should spend so much more time on and celebrate, as much as we do mere physical beauty, as this type of beauty is available to any, male or female, young or old.  It can cost nothing, or it can require from you the ultimate sacrifice.  It is a type of beauty that we are all indebted to, regardless of how far a way geographically or temporally we my live from the particular protest. 

What is remarkable about these protests is that while the women in them are ready to make the ultimate sacrifice for what they believe in, what they are asking for often is so very little.  They are asking to be able to live their lives as equals, in the manner of their choosing.  They ask to be able to vote, to participate fully in their societies as equals.  They ask to be given the same opportunities for success as others enjoy in their societies.  They ask to be free from violence, to have access to education, food, housing and economical success, They ask simply to be given a chance to work for all of it. 

They are often not just asking for themselves, but for those that have gone before them, for those that are there marching with them and for the children that have not yet been born, that one day will reap what has been sown, and will have no idea how much blood was used to fertilize that fruit.

 

I am grateful to each and every one of them for they are all fighting for each one of us to be a little freer.  A world or a society enslaved by slavery is not free, that does not treat all its citizens fairly, is not free, that favors some over others for economic success is not free.  Thus each victory by a single protest brings all of us closer to freedom.  It is true that some protests have had less than virtuous reasons, that some have resulted in less freedom for some, rather than more for all.  But I think, perhaps because I am an optimist, that the vast majority of protests through out time have made the world a better place to live for all.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and as I looked through those photographs I saw a beauty that I had been blind to for quite a while now.

Women Protests

Peaceful Protests

How many children must be killed before Americans start to care?

 Yes, how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind
The answer is blowin' in the wind. 

~ Lyrics by Bob Dylan

When the tragedy at Sandy Hook happened, everyone in the US stopped and took notice.  With such a horrific crime, how could it not be the case?  It shook people from all walks of life to the core, it united us all (briefly) in deep pain.

I wish the same would happen when it is just one life that is taken in a senseless act.  The crimes that happen in middle to upper class America, those that happen to beautiful white girls, those that happen to the children of the privileged are splashed all over the news, and repeated until the images, names and situations are burned into our collective memories.  And yet these crimes are tragic, sometimes spectacular, but truth be told very rare.  But when the child is a minority, poor or male all too often their deaths, no matter how tragic, no matter how 'innocent' the child, are mourned only by their families and the communities they grew up in, this is despite the fact these crimes occur almost daily.
 
Although we can never completely eliminate random crime, until we start caring about all these deaths equally, we will never get rid of those spectacular crimes that seem to capture our collective imaginations and fears.  Because until we can start caring about the poor kids, the minority kids, even the 'not so innocent' kids, as much as we do about the kids that we can identify with, we can't start having the difficult conversations that need to be had.

We can't start talking about discrimination, poverty, gun control, the US culture of violence, or even about how special interest groups currently have control over how these conversations are approached in the media.  We can't start talking about how our inability to accept those who are different can affect children who are bullied, teased, or even just ignored.  We can't talk about how we always assume that more violence will solve problems, when history clearly shows that violence simply begets more violence.

We can't even start these conversations until we start caring enough for the children who die in random acts of violenc, even if they don't look like us, don't come from the same neighborhoods, don't dress the same way as our kids, or who scare us because they just seem so different.  We can't start these conversations until we look at each other as Americans, rather than as different types of Americans.

Below are a collection of killings of teens, it took me about 10 mins to google these stories, they are almost all recent and to me they are all tragic and depressing.  And yet my guess is most of you reading this might be familiar with one or two of these cases but have probably have never have heard about the others.

4-Year-Old Shot In The Head During Bronx Basketball Game

» by Latifah Muhammad (@TheLatifah) July 23, 2012, 14:33pm

Read more at http://hiphopwired.com/2012/07/23/4-year-old-shot-in-the-head-during-bronx-basketball-game-video/#YIoWCY5JDD6P9P5D.99

Two days after New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg called for a more concrete plan to combat gun violence in America, another youngster has lost their life in a senseless shooting. A 4-year-old boy from the Bronx was shot and killed during a basketball game at the Morrisania public housing unit Sunday (July 22) night. The child was struck by a stray bullet, and was one of three people shot during the violent eruption.
Little Lloyd Morgan, was at a playground near the basketball court at the Forest House when he was shot in the head. He was transported to Lincoln Hospital where he died.

Posted: 8:21 a.m. Tuesday, Feb. 5, 2013

Ellenwood teen shot and killed in Atlanta

By Mike Morris

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Atlanta police are investigating a shooting that left a teenager dead.

Slain teen's mom calls for justice in shooting

 ATLANTA - The search continues for the suspect who gunned down a teenager along a northwest Atlanta street Monday afternoon.  Police say 17-year-old Wilton Smith-Muirhead was shot in the head outside a convenience store.

Detectives hope to talk with witnesses to the shooting who might help them identify the killer.  Meanwhile, Muirhead's mother told FOX 5 on Tuesday that what frustrates her most about her son's senseless death is that it appears the shooting was a case of mistaken identity. 

Mom of teen killed: ‘They took a lot from me’

By Alexis Stevens

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution 

A Gwinnett County teenager killed over his fancy basketball shoes went to the same school as the people accused of robbing and shooting him.
Two teenagers and an adult have been arrested and charged in connection with the December death of Paul Sampleton Jr., police said Friday. All three suspects went to Grayson High School, where Paul was a freshman, according to police.


 

Teen shot on the Las Vegas Strip may never walk again

Las Vegas, NV (KTNV) - A family is working to deal with the harsh reality that their son may never walk again. Jeremy Miller was shot several times in a parking garage on the Las Vegas Strip earlier this week.

Jeremy is recovering at University Medical Center. Among his most serious injuries is a bullet wound to his back that doctors say will leave him unable to walk again.

Shooting Could Leave Young Man Paralyzed

LAS VEGAS -- A young man ambushed in a parking garage elevator may be paralyzed for life.
A gunman shot 18-year-old Jeremy Miller several times near a Las Vegas Strip movie theater just after midnight Wednesday.
Miller's family said they are hoping for a miracle.
In an instant, Miller and two others came under fire. The gunman, apparently jealous over a girl, shattered lives in just seconds.
Miller has overcome challenges before, his father, Atom Miller, said.
"His mother passed away when he was 11," Atom Miller said. "He's had a diverse situation in his life, and he's always made the best with things."

Teen killed for his coat in lower East Side

Police say Raphael Ward, 16, was shot in the chest during a scuffle with a group of teens on Columbia St. at 9:10 p.m. on Friday night. The gunman remains at large.

By Thomas Tracy / NEW YORK DAILY NEWS

Saturday, January 5, 2013, 3:06 PM

Raphael Ward, 16, may have been shot to death for his jacket.

A teen gunned down on the lower East Side Friday night may have been killed for his coat, the Daily News has learned.
Police say Raphael Ward, 16, was shot in the chest during a scuffle with a group of teens on Columbia St. at 9:10 p.m.
“Someone was trying to take his coat, but didn’t get it,” said a police source.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/teen-killed-coat-eastside-article-1.1233796#ixzz2KQc96dmH

Police: Teen Killed In Downtown Triple Stabbing Did Attend Ravens Parade

BALTIMORE (WJZ) — As Ravens fans celebrated, violence broke out not far from the parade route. One teenager is dead and two others were injured in a triple stabbing.
Now homicide investigators are trying to track a killer.

Mike Schuh reports the teen that died was, in fact, downtown to attend the Ravens Super Bowl victory parade.
City police say they believe all the victims are around 15 or 16 years old. The stabbing happened after they had words with their attacker.

Marty Kent Funeral Fundraiser Held After California Teen Takes Bullet For Mom

Friends are raising money for the funeral of Marty Kent, 17, who died protecting his mother from being shot in Modesto, Calif.

Marty Kent, 17, paid the ultimate sacrifice to protect his mother.
On Jan. 2 the Modesto, Calif., teenager was shot and killed on his front porch after jumping in front of his mother to take a bullet headed in her direction, according to Fox 40.

Trayvon 2.0: Teen shot to death for playing loud music

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

A software engineer is in a Brevard County jail charged with murder and attempted murder in the shooting death of 17-year-old high school student Jordan Davis.
The incident occurred at a Jacksonville gas station on Southside Boulevard on Friday. Michael Dunn, who is white, told police he “felt threatened” by Davis and his friends after he complained about the loud music coming from their car. Davis is African American.
(His Killer was brought to Justice 2014)

First lady joins hundreds at Hadiya Pendleton funeral 

Tribune staff

10:29 a.m. CST, February 9, 2013

Hundreds of mourners lined up early to pay respects to slain teen Hadiya Pendleton this morning at a visitation and funeral attended by first lady Michelle Obama.
Hadiya was a majorette for King College Prep's band and performed during President Barack Obama's inauguration festivities just days before she was slain, shot in the back while hanging out with friends at a North Kenwood neighborhood park.

Even if you don't read a word of what I have written, please spend a few moments reading about these children (and the many others that I have not included here), I think they deserve at least few minutes of your time.

2 questioned in shooting of teen killed hours after sister heard Obama’s speech

BY BECKY SCHLIKERMAN Staff Reporter  bschlikerman@suntimes.com February 16, 2013 9:26PM

Janay Mcfarlane, 18,

McFarlane was shot to death hours after her little sister, Destini, 14, sat just feet away as President Barack Obama as he spoke in Chicago Friday about the violence plaguing the nation.

McFarlane, 18, was in North Chicago visiting friends and family. She was with a friend late Friday night when a bullet meant for a friend struck McFarlane, Blakely said.

McFarlane was shot once in the head around 11:30 p.m. in an alley in the 1300 block of Jackson Street in the far north suburb, Lake County Coroner Thomas Rudd said.

Chicago baby, shot with father during a diaper change, dies

By Matt Pearce s.

March 12, 2013, 11:34 a.m.

6-month-old Jonylah Watkins shot 5 times as her father changed her diaper

 

In Chicago, certain names have become synonymous with a specific type of tragedy for girls, which can be recalled with bleak and brief synopsis: Hadiya Pendleton, a 15-year-old majorette, shot in the back after coming home from President Obama's inauguration; Janay McFarlane, 18, gunned down in North Chicago while walking with friends -- her 14-year-old sister had just heard the president give a speech about gun violence.

Now there is another name to add. Six-month-old Jonylah Watkins died at a hospital Tuesday morning after being shot while getting her diaper changed by her father, who was shot too.

 

BOB DYLAN LYRICS

"Blowin' In The Wind"

How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
How many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes, how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they're forever banned?
The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

Yes, how many years can a mountain exist
Before it's washed to the sea?
Yes, how many years can some people exist
Before they're allowed to be free?
Yes, how many times can a man turn his head
Pretending he just doesn't see?
The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

Yes, how many times must a man look up
Before he can really see the sky?
Yes, how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

Being Single is less socially acceptable than being Gay

I had a conversation today that brought me to that surprising conclusion.  When you are a woman (I am sure men get this to) who is no longer in her 20s, you have been single for a while and don't seem to mind it people are very uncomfortable.  So uncomfortable that they have a tendency to come up with any other explanation for your situation.  One of the most common ones is that you must really be gay and either have not come to terms with it or just won't admit it.

The idea that you could be heterosexual, and not that upset about being single just seems very hard for some to accept, especially if you are a woman in her 30s or older.  Of course there is the idea that there must be something wrong with you (i.e. that is why nobody wants to be with you) or that you are not trying hard enough, or that you are really miserable and are trying to hide it.

In the conversation that I had today the person I was talking to started talking about a friend of her's and she said "He should just admit he is gay and go off and find someone and be happy, he should know that we would love you (yes she changed from saying him to saying 'you', regardless).  I did not even know where to go with this one, so I just muttered something to the effect of "well each person must decide what is right for them"

Where to start?  First, do you really have to 'have' someone to be happy?  I certainly was not happier (not that I was unhappy, but my happiness levels were about the same, I was happier about some aspects of my life, and less happy about others, so it evens out.) when I was dating.  If he admits he is gay, then who is to say that he would find someone that would make him happy?  Why assume that all the problems in his life have to do with his sexuality?  Finally, based on previous conversations, this guy is probably bisexual, or even straight and experimenting but who cares?  Why should he admit to anyone what his sexuality is?   Except perhaps the person he is dating, nobody else has a need or right to know.

As for the possibility that she was talking about me, I thought to myself "what the heck?".   I can't say "No, you don't understand, I am not gay, I find women beautiful but I am in no way turned on by them, and to be honest most of them irritate me more than most guys, as an introvert I tend to find many extroverted women a little too hard to deal with on a social level, too touchy feely and so on LOL.  I don't really find kids irresistible like most women, don't really have a burning desire to have any, and don't really care if I get married or not, and am leaning towards the preference of never getting married.  All things that most women find close to incomprehensible.  So no I am not a latent homosexual, not that I find anything wrong with the prospect, it is simply innacurate.

And yes based on the responses I get when I say that I won't ever get married and have kids and that I don't mind, or from the conversations about how others understood the importance of having a 'life' (husband, boyfriend, kids) out of work (implied here is that if you don't have one of the three, you don't have a 'life' outside of work), I can fully say that people would be much more supportive if I came out and said I was gay.

The thing is that in the past I did both, I had a 'life' outside of work, that 'life' just did not last and now I am single and relatively fine with it.  Honestly I am more bothered by feeling 'different' because everyone else is either married, getting married, dating and/or having kids so you can feel a little left out of all the celebrations, and start feeling a little down.  For this reason I have abandoned Facebook and no longer go to the endless baby showers, and wedding showers, more for my own sanity than any other reason. 

This is of course interpreted as me being jealous, which I am not, I am just tired of shelling out hundreds of dollars for these things and well I know this sounds bad, but knowing that it will never be reciprocated and that not only is it not reciprocated, but on top of that I am made to feel bad for something that for me is perfectly natural and OK.

The final part of this venting is the idea that just because I accept that I could possibly never date again, and probably never get married, it does not mean that I don't want to find someone to have a relationship with.  It is just that I am not desperate to find that someone, and if they show up, wonderful, if they don't wonderful :).

Hopefully one day, being single and happy will be just as acceptable as being gay :)

Is Hollywood Doomed?

Mitt Romney and the GOP got a big surprise during the last elections.  All their polls indicated that at this moment a republican would be getting ready to move in to the White house.   Their polls were not wrong, they were just not polling the right people.  It is true, the majority of whites in the US did vote for Mr. Romney, it is just that there is no longer enough of a majority of whites in the US that you can ignore everyone else.

I get the feeling that at some point Hollywood is going to have a similar surprise.  At some point somewhere people are going to start making movies that are going to sell in the US more than Hollywood movies.  I think that at some point minorities, when given the 'real' choice, are going to stop going to Hollywood movies are are going to start wanting to see things were they are represented as something more than token, exotic or stereotyped.

At some point people I think are going to look at images like this one and are going to start wondering why people who look like them are not either on stage, or sitting at the tables.  I don't think that it will be a conscious act but slowly they are just going to stop watching

They are going to start looking for alternatives, and in our age of digital media, I am thinking they are going to find them.  Unfortunately I don't think Hollywood will find the solution.  It looks to me like they are going in the wrong direction.  But some young entrepreneur, my guess an immigrant is going to figure out a way to get movies with a better representation of the real world (race, age, gender, weight, religion and so on), they are going to market them to broad audiences and they are going to make bucket loads of money.

Then again perhaps they already have:

Everyday, some 14 million Indian people queue for a movie, with more than 4 billion movie tickets sold annually, compared to 3 billion for Hollywood movies worldwide.

See: More movies made in Bollywood than Hollywood

It is not that there is a shortage of actresses that don't look like this:
Asian Actresses
Black Actresses
Indian Actresses
Hispanic Actresses
Native American Actresses
Older Actresses

Arabian Actresses
Full bodied Actresses